6/17/23

I'm just now realizing the latest blogpost iframe isn't matching the style of the rest of the page gotta fic that asap. In personal news I've spent a lot of time fishing lately and I started a fiverr account to do freelance graphic design work; Here's the link to my fiverr if you're interested. I got back into project zomboid after I got fed up with runescape thank god.

6/9/23

Runescape is sucking up my life uncontrollably I think there may be a possiility I have autism.

Also gonna start using they/she pronouns now because fuck it

6/8/23

Getting into runescape again!

as expected there are a good handful of runescape pages on neocities so that's cool. Started making weekly plans with daily todo lists for me and my partner and that's been working really well.

6/6/23

Damn graduating highschool is kinda underwhelming, I think it's because a lot of big steps like getting a job, getting into a college etc are already done. In other news one of my two baby toads escaped the terrarium and is now loose in my room. My room is a mess and he's the size of a dime so I doubt I can find him before he starves :(

6/1/23

Graduating highschool in three days! lessgo

5/31/23

Gonna make a fucking comeback to this place, and this site will have a lot more to offer and serve a more practical purpose for both political, personal and freelancing stuff

2/4/23

2/1/23

Long time no see! I've been working the past two days on a research project on north korea after this kid at my school wouldn't stop shitting on them, I showed them the first draft and they were fucking screaming at me in my school's common area, I think seeing his anti-DPRK points made from another person pushed those that were listening to our debate. Also fuck debatebros

12/27/22

piss balls

12/7/22

Just got a job at a fancy resturaunt! I start tommorow after school!

12/10/22

I got a new dishwashing job, and this fucker at my work is such a pain, he's worse than anyone at my old job, my first shift he kept making reactionary jokes and making sexual comments about me, he made me take an "r-word test" which consisted of a bunch of riddles, he also was weird towards the waitresses. The hours are shorter and the pay is better but the work is harder. Some nights I might have to stay there past 10 PM.

Oh also have you heard about chatgpt? it's insane! I've been using it to learn basic theory, get inspiration for art, get advice on propaganda, and it can do all my homework in like 20 seconds!

12/3/22

Well shit, it appears I've avoided updating the site for an entire month. Not a lot has happened, me and my partner have gotten a goldfish, and we've also been taking care of a jumping spider, Tito. My gender dysphoria seems to be getting worse, but thankfully I can try and get a referral soon. My main laptop's keyboard gave out so I had to use a shit HP laptop, like the kind you see at Walmart. But now the replacement keyboard is here and I can use my f a s t thinkpad. I've been using a habit tracker to help me get my shit together and it works really well. funny thing is I've noticed, I tend to feel like shit and feel good on alternating days. Welp that's about it. Gonna go play Animal Crossing.

Oh yeah, I'm also learning C++

Tito the Spider

10/31/22

Happy Halloween! here is an update from the past week;

The union voted to go on a walkout at my school but all the older kids skipped out at the last minute, those that joined were very disorganized and those that stayed back were talking shit the entire time. Overall it was a large mistake, when the teachers softened up, rather than back off from a strike we just morphed it into a smaller demonstration, there are many lessons to be learned, and I think that our next meeting will be devoted to that.

I've been moved out of my parents for a week now, It's really nice to hang out with my partner every day after school and eat every meal together, I've wanted something like this for so long. However my parents are pissed, this morning my mom threatened to stop giving me my medication if I didn't text more regularly.

10/22/22 update

Quitting went very well, my boss was super understanding and said I don't need to work anymore after today if I don't want to. I'll move out tomorrow.

10/22/22

The student union may go on strike if the administration doesn't expand worktime for every grade. Pretty excited for the possibility ngl

Also gonna quit my job tonight. I talked with my boss and they said they were hiring me at a loss rn so they could make money off of me once I'm more skilled. I don't know how it never made it's way to him but I've told my supervisors that I plan to quit as soon as I move out, so my boss has been losing money on me expecting to get it back later. At this point the only reason I stay at my old place anymore is so I can get to work.

10/20/22

Yesterday I realized I hadn't done my physics homework last minute so I borrowed my friends, took a piece of paper and wrote my name on it, layed it over their name and made a photocopy. I then spilled a drink on it, crumpled it a little and got some dirt on it. I told the teacher that it fell out of my car onto the ground and they totally bought it. I almost never cheat but I knew the shit that was on the homework and I really needed the time to work on other stuff. Idk I think the whole situation was funny because a bunch of my classmates saw me make it and watched the teacher fall for it.

Oh yeah it also looks like the union might go on strike. So all students can have more work time.

10/18/22

Jesus christ I have not posted in over 2 weeks! I'm making good progress on moving out, There's room in my girlfriend's house and her dad says I can do whatever I want with it if I fix it up. I'm super excited for the chance to have my own place to hang out and do with what I please, that's always been something I've desperately wanted. Fuck what else...

The tip jar at work got stolen? that's something. I went and saw Smile, it was one of the better psychological horror movies I've seen lately.

oh yeah also, take a look at the bone zone (wip)

10/1/22

Its the spooky month! I was thinking about starting a little gallery for all the skeletons I see, just for the hell of it. My hours at work are getting reduced which is freaking me out, and like I made the mistake of telling them I plan to move, so they seem to be preparing to phase me out. I just finished a kickass 5 page paper about historical materialism to dunk on my shitlib hippie humanities teacher. Crap what else, I'm making some electronic sculptures to exhibit at school.

9/25/22

Welp you 7 asshats who voted on the poll really wanted a damn music section, so I shall make one despite having shit taste.

Oh yeah also, while I was napping in the car my girfriend ran over something and popped her tire and I woke up, I helped get it changed which neither of us had done before, it was nice to feel like we were able to handle problems that come with adulting.

9/24/22

I have added Mr Bones, scroll down to care of him for me!

9/23/22

So overall the student union has been taking off, but one of the teachers saw that we were offering to help kids deal with discrimination and harassment from students and staff which apparently would be illegal for the school to let us do so they tore down some of our posters in the information center. Also another thing that is pissing me off is my parents are telling me that if I am going to recieve support from them I can't sleep over at my partner's house. I'm a legal adult now, but they can't get their ultra-religious head out of their ass about this. Like I've tried to play by their rules in the past and gain trust that way, but it doesn't give results. And then when I try to gain independence by breaking rules instead they use that as proof of me being immature. I feel trapped, I already have anxiety about having to be an adult and this isn't helping.

9/17/22

Pretty much recovered from my sickness, kinda dreading going back to work after so long, the other night I saw a big car crash happen up close, I ran out of the car to go help the person, I ran to the left side and saw they were slumped over and their airbag hadn't gone off, I couldn't get the door open because it was pinned against a fence, so I went to the other side and opened the door, the person was super dazed and I was trying to get them out when an off duty nurse ran up and took charge, he checked their vitals and started yelling at them to stay awake and shaking them. I saw the persons eyes roll up in her head and the nurse started yelling for narcan. I honestly thought I would see them die. Driving past the crash site every day kinda sucks. I saw a broken piece of plastic on the ground at school and freaked out because it looked like a shard of the plastic fence. I wonder if I have trauma from the whole ordeal. A lot of times I wonder if I actually have trauma or if I'm pretending to get freaked out for some reason.

9/12/22

Jesus I havent posted in almost a week holy crap! I feel sick as shit rn and I also am trying to stay ahead on school stuff. Some of the teachers make the assignments so you would have to have been there to understand them. Oh yeah also my school has a student union now! I've been wanting that to happen for ages. There arent a lot of older kids in it but it still has a lot of people.

9/6/22

Dude all the most annoying kids aren't at school this year. I feel like this year I'm gonna do good. But I also feel unprepared and scared about adulthood. Also godamn almost 2k views! Someone finally signed the guestbook! And a few people have voted on my poll!

9/3/22

Gender's been a lil funky lately, I'm an AMAB nonbinary person, but I've just gotten used to being misgendered at work, at school and epecially at home, and exhausted with the work it takes to present myself in a feminine or androgynous way, but over the past couple of weeks I've felt an increasing desire to be more feminine, I initially thought it was my sexuality shifting a bit and I was trying to present in a way that would attract the male gaze, but I think it's more direct than that, I don't think I'm more into dudes than usual. Hopefully I can talk to a doctor soon about my concerns, my parents hooked me up with this shitty therapist after a doctor recomended I see a psychiatrist. The bitch fucking fell asleep during one of our sessions.

8/31/22

I havent been spending any time lately on windows 95, which is a waste considering how long it took to set up the vm, I haven't been doing any of the shit I'm supposed to for school either, and just in general I've been falling behind on my long term goals, I really can't stay working on one thing for more than a few weeks before my intense interest just fades. I really hope the same doesn't happen with neocities.

8/30/22

School is starting in about a week, I'm excited about getting prepped for college and I plan to put in extra effort so I end highschool on a strong note. I've quickly grown my collection of tapes for my VCR, I'm surprised how much boomers dont remember how to use them. My dad asked me if I could put on subtitles last night and earlier today this lady at the store called it a DVD. I've been developing my skills in blender very well, I've made some more vaporwave art that I'll post in a bit, first I need to learn how to make collapsibles, so people aren't loading hd art every time they open the page, I also want to post a poll to see what kind of stuff you guys want to see more of.

8/27/22

last night I taught myself how to make oceans and mountains in blender, so I'm now able to make funky vaporwave animations!

8/26/22

I've pretty much finished with my model! Last night I fixed some small things and made an entire 256x256 texture by hand. This new model is much closer to my original sketch and is closer to how I want to express myself. Still trying to get the sidebar to auto-update. I'll try again in a hour.

8/25/22 #1

Holy crap sadgrl followed me and helped gimme advice on how to sync up a navbar!

8/25/22 #2

A lot has happened the past two days, went outta state with a buddy to do some urbex, and in the evening we stopped in a secluded industrial area, trying to get google maps set up when this pig slowly drives by, so we leave, they follow us, turn on their lights and ask us what we were doing, asking these irrelevant bullshit questions trying to get us to incriminate ourselves. They keep saying our story doesnt make sense, goes back to their car and comes back, taps on my window while I'm speedreading the aclu doc for getting pulled over in that state. He makes me ID myself and is just a pissy bitch to both of us, he takes my friend out of the car for questioning, and no shit asked if they were with me in the car voluntarily, I know it's all over but godamn I cant stop thinking about it and getting pissed.alsoifyou'rereadingthissignmyguestbookfortheloveofgodalmostat1kviewsandnobodyhassignedit

artist's depiction of the pig in question;

8/23/22

Found a vcr at goodwill for 4 bucks the other day, gonna start looking for tapes of movies I like to watch on it. maybe I can buy blank tapes and record torrents of videos onto them, although I would need a way to output the videos in composite, so I might have to use my raspberry pi. Also went urbexing at an abandoned gravel processing plant, place was like a huge jungle gym.

8/20/22

Just found a Military meal from the late 80s-early 90s at a yard sale for one dollar, it was [MRE] menu item 4: Omelette w/ ham"

The fucking potatoes smelled like sawdust and the cheese spread and omlette reeked of cheese whiz/spray cheese. The cheese spread looked like cat shit.

8/19/22 (8:30 PM)

aaaaand I've saved the version of the model with only the head over the model of the whole body. Shit.

8/19/22

Nice to see how many people are looking at my site, I've been making good progress on my 3d persona, however I'm having trouble rigging it as it just implodes.

at this point counting the time I've spent coding the website, designing the 3d model and working in GIMP to get it all formatted I'd say I've spent 8 hours so far on this site if not more.

8/18/22 (2:30 am)

I'm sick of trying to read through pdfs of html textbooks trying to get something as simple as a sidebar to work, new plan, I'm going to take this webpage I really like and systematically remove all the html I can until I'm left with a frame that I can customize, also jesus their site's code is super clean, everything is indented and very clear. give their site a visit for me since I'm using their work. Also the new updates to the site seem to be taking a while to kick in so things may look weird.

8/17/22

shit's been good, people on reddit have been very helpful with my internet issues on windows 98, I'm slowly improving the look of the site, and I've begun work on a 3d persona to make gifs and shit of for my site, also gonna compress some pics into a gallery for you guys, add a hit counter, and a guestbook ofc.

8/15/22

Ok people, so I want to get not just into having a 90s webpage again, but also using windows 98 for as much as I can, of course, between even transferring files from my actual linux machine to the vm and trying to sort out an internet connection that works, this is gonna be difficult. Like fundamentally I can't do this without there being a big gap between what I can and can't do on windows 98 and that's going to divide up my life to a certain extent. I'm thinking about maybe using my phone for modern shit, but then I still wanna play modern games and I don't really have a console. This whole thing is gonna be a pain in the ass. I think if I really dive in I can pull it off though.

second problem; I'm super political and a lotta people on these old websites are either like trying to retreat to the old web because "nowadays everything is political" or they have bad politics, another concern is that no matter what I do, if people see I'm a commie then they won't see value in anything else I do, like imagine you find a great abandonware or ROMs site, and then the webmaster has neo-nazi propaganda in the margins, kinda ruins the whole thing for you. Not saying I'm a fascist, but the powerful in this world really like to portray communists and fascists as very similar.